Welcome to Crush It TV - Mindset May

This is our weekly recording of Crush it TV – Episode 001

The show goes live on FB in our private community every Wednesday, if you missed it, you can catch the replay below. I would appreciate if you could:

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Shownotes

Hello, hello everyone and welcome to Crush It TV, it’s officially our first episode, and I’m like a kid in a candy shop today. 

Today I want to give you a quick intro to the weekly show to let you know what we’re going to be doing, what we’ve got coming up, why are we even here? And I’m going to go into the topic for this month, which is going to be all about Mindset. I’ve already lined up a couple of people that are going to be joining me for the show in the next few weeks, and I’m really excited about that.

So the first thing I want to talk about is: Why are we here? So, I went to my Mastermind Retreat last weekend and I met all of these amazing people I have gotten to know online over the past few months in person. And it has been amazing to listen to all of their stories and see all of the things they have achieved over the past months and years. 

When I could finally decompress from the entire event I finally realized that the one thing I have NOT been infusing into my businesses was my Why. So I mainly felt like I was running 2 disjointed businesses, both lacking the underpinning mission – and I wanted to unite both of these under one umbrella.

So before I dive into the details on the show, I wanted to give you a quick intro because I can already see there are lots of people in this group that I haven’t met yet.

My name is Jessica Dornieden and I run a Digital Marketing agency where we mainly focus on, done – for – you services. We work with entrepreneurs that operate service-based businesses and they are looking to grow and scale. We mainly work on high-end projects, sales funnels and all that good stuff. I know there are many of you out there right now that we cannot impact with out business because right now it’s not in their budget.

My second business was coaching and consulting for new Virtual Assistants. I had a free Facebook group, well I still have it but it’s going to be closing at the end of the month. I was doing one – to – one coaching as well as running a course. 

While I enjoy both things they have always felt completely separate and I decided that I can make this all part of the main business if I just slightly shift my focus. What I have been teaching over there is relevant for EVERYONE getting started with their own business online – so let’s put it all in one place.

My Mission

I also realised that there are things that I’m super passionate about. That’s the reason I started this group and this show. I feel like even though it is 2018 as we are recording this, women are still required to make a choice between what they want to do in life.

Do they want to have a family or do they want to have a career, do they want to just have a job? And that’s it until the end of days. And if they need to take time off to look after their health, they can’t make money at the same time because it’s not accepted in your job to need time off.

And I feel like that leaves us super restricted as to what we can do in life.

And I realized that myself when I had the baby. I received a lot of negative comments from people. I’ve met people that said to me, “Oh, you can’t have a baby and run a business at the same time. That’s impossible.

I met this girl in a coffee shop the other day and I just thought of the conversation I had with her and she was like, “Oh, you’ve got a baby that’s so nice. I want to have a baby one day, but maybe not, because then I’ll have to give up work and put my entire life on hold and I don’t want to do that. I want to have a career too.

So I don’t know. I’m kind of shocked that still up until this point, we are in this mindset where women, as soon as you have a baby, you have to stop work. If you’re not well and you can’t go to a job, you can’t make any money.

So I feel really passionate that there are so many women out there that have these skills they could be using to help other people, but they don’t because they’re stuck in that mindset of having to choose one or the other.

I started the group, ‘Crush it with Confidence’ because I want to bring women together that DO believe that they can have it all in life and they’re happy to work towards that in one way or another.

And that’s what’s going to be bringing us all together.

A lot of the girls that work with me have children, they have other things going on in life. They don’t want to have or can’t have a full-time job, so they work for themselves. Some of them live in places where there aren’t any jobs.

So this mission is tying everything together for me. I contract to women that want it all, I support women that want it all, and I am growing a community of women that want it all.

So if you are watching this and you want it all in your life, then you’re just in the right place because we’re going to have loads of things to help you do just that.

Crush It TV

The show will usually be happening Live on Facebook (in our private group) on Wednesdays at 1 pm GMT/BST. The show will always come out first in the group, so if you want to see it first, that’s the place to be. If you’re there live, drop your thoughts and questions in the comments. There may be times we are moving the show to other times and dates to be able to have guests on and not conflict with their schedules. Always check the events section in the group for details.

The show will then also come out on the blog, go onto Youtube and get published on my Facebook Page.

We will also be turning the show into a podcast later on in the year.

What’s coming up?

Now I want to share some details on what’s coming up in the show, so you know what you can expect.

In May we’re talking about Mindset and obviously if you’re listening to this later on or if you’re listening to this in a different format than, these dates might have already passed or it might be slightly off the schedule but we’re still following the same order. We are going to welcome Corinne Worsley and Lynne Taggart on the show.

In June, we’re going to be talking about juggling #allthethings. We will have our guest Allie Bjerk talk about her work week and how she manages to focus on her work as well as her family. When you balance a business and a personal life that needs attention it can feel very stressful and we want to make sure you’ve got everything under control.

July is a topic that so many of us completely disregard, but it’s so important. We are going to talk about financial things and the backend of your business because the number one thing that’s likely to kill your business at some point is cash flow. So it’s sometimes a delay between when money comes in, and when money has to go out, and if one overlaps the other then, unfortunately, that can leave you completely out of pocket. So it’s an important topic and there are things you can do to make sure that you are not ending up in that situation.

August is all about getting organized. So we’re going to be talking about, Systems and Automation. I’ve got a couple of ideas with people that I wanted to bring on for that show, so that’s gonna be very exciting. There are loads of things that we do over and over and over again in our business and we are not automating them. And you should be because it’s a total waste of your time.

September, we’re going to go out into branding and messaging,  because the way we show up so important in our business and there are loads of things that we could be doing better. It’s not just about having a logo and having some colours that we use over and over again, but it’s, you know, the whole ethos behind the everything that you do. It’s how you work, how you treat people. And that is super important to me. So that’s going to be September

Then October we’re going to talk about securing yourself for when you’re unable to work. So there’ll be times in your life where something goes wrong and so many of us are solopreneurs and we’re leaving ourselves completely at risk of the entire business shutting down if we were to get very ill or if anyone else that we care for regularly happens to get very ill. So we’re going to be talking about putting things in place in your business so that you can still have money coming in even if something happens to you. When I was pregnant I was very, very sick and I had to cancel so many things that I had booked and I was so upset because I’d taken a deposit, and I had to refund everything, because we couldn’t deliver and I couldn’t even tell anyone that I was pregnant because it was that early on and there were problems with the pregnancy. So it was a very difficult time, for me. And I vouched to never ever be in that boat again.

And then November and December we’re going to go into planning 2019. So we’re going to have a lot of planning sessions and tips coming up here.

We’re doing this one a little early, because I find that once December hits and everyone kind of gets into the Christmas frenzy, these things fall under the table and then January comes around and nobody’s thought about what they want to achieve.

We’re also going to be talking about dealing with the pressure from other people, particularly at festive times. 

And then we might even be taking a couple of weeks break between Christmas and New Year because I think a lot of people are away anyways. I haven’t decided that yet, but I’ll let you know in advance. So that’s what we’ve got coming up.

I’m going to give you a chance to submit your questions for the guest experts in advance of the show, so if there’s something that comes to your mind, then you can be sure to add your question to the list. I can’t promise we will get round to all of them, but we will try to cover as much as possible.

We might also, have a monthly challenge running around the theme with some things that you can work on in your business if that’s something that you need. So, lots of things coming up.

If you want to be featured as a guest expert, then I would love for you to drop an email to team@jessicadornieden.com. And let us know what your topic of expertise is and then we can see how that fits in with what we’ve got booked already. So enough talking about the show. I want to get started with talking about Mindset a little bit to kind of get us in the frame of mind of what we’re going to be covering in the next few weeks.

Mindset May

I realized for myself that Mindset is super important and that it was at the heart of Success or Failure in my business.

For me, it was really important at the time when I had just handed in my resignation and I found out about two to three weeks later that I was actually pregnant and I was like, Great, that was the worst, worst timing in my life! So I had just quit my job, left all my security behind and here I am pregnant. Then it got even more important at the time when I was very early pregnant and they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat and I had to deal with letting people down and I couldn’t even tell them why.

I was down in the dumps in February that year. The weather was miserable. It was a total disaster. January, February. I could’ve just written off.

But the problem is that I couldn’t let this get to me because I had a baby to feed in just a few months time if everything was going well. So losing everything about my business at that point wasn’t really going to work.

I had to get myself out of the funk very quickly.

Building a business is a crazy rollercoaster. There are good times and bad times, highs and lows. There’ll be times when things go to plan and when they don’t. Sometimes we try and sabotage ourselves even when things are going well.

I’d love to know if you’ve ever experienced any super negative feelings with your business, whether it was, you know, at the time when things were going well or when things were not going well and what the situation was.

Feel free to leave a comment below, I would love to read a little bit more about that and share some examples.

There are times in our businesses where super good things happen, we get glowing testimonials, sign a big client, and then some of us have habits of sabotaging ourselves. I, for example, have a habit of breaking things, so I will do stuff like dropping a whole glass of water on my MacBook. So there are times where we are supposed to be taking in all that goodness that’s coming our way, but something doesn’t sit right and it feels almost like as if we aren’t ready to accept that to come to us.

Many of us also carry some really negative associations to do with money and what “rich” people are supposed to be like and you know, subliminally maybe we don’t want to be like those people, so we’re doing everything we can to not become one of those people and that those are the kinds of things that we don’t even know are going on inside of us and we’re just dealing with the consequences. So that’s why I’m super excited to be talking to Lynne about scaling your business and all the pitfalls we may experience. 

I’d love to know what kind of things other people do, whether you get sick, break things, get bills or if maybe it’s just me that happens to 😀

So, let’s talk about what can we put in place to safeguard our Mindset while enjoying the ride? So I personally try and think, OK, I’m on this roller coaster, the roller coaster of entrepreneurship. There are good days, there are bad days, there are good days, there are bad days, and it just keeps going like this. So there are certain things that I try and do all the time that really helped me to not lose the plot.

Like I said, I have a baby to feed, my income contributes to our bills. So I can’t just say, hey, you know what, this is just a rubbish month, I will try again next month. No, there cannot be anything like a rubbish month, it has to be a good month or an even better one, but I can’t have any rubbish months.

So the first thing that I have to do super quickly when I’m not “feeling it” is to actually acknowledge my feelings.

Sometimes we’re so stuck going about our daily routine, particularly if you have other commitments to attend to. If you’re sitting in a job and you’re trying to build a business, it’s so easy to just say, oh, I’m just not feeling it today. So I’m going to come back to this tomorrow or I’m not feeling it today, but maybe tomorrow and maybe the day after, and so it goes on and suddenly you’re kind of in the slug, so acknowledge your feelings and then sit down to do the work anyways.

And that is super important and I find that all these negative feelings, once I’m sitting down to actually tackle something, they’re gone. So it’s like you get a new spring in your step, but you have to actually acknowledge that that is the way you feel and then choose to do something about it anyways.

There are particularly times where you may need to do something that you feel uncomfortable about, maybe somebody is contacting you to do an interview and you say: “OH, I’m super uncomfortable. I’ve never done that before!”, Acknowledge your feelings, but you need to go and do it anyway. Otherwise you keep holding yourself back and then you’re going to feel more negative about it. And it just goes on and on and on.

The second thing that I find super important is to develop a support network of people. Sometimes we ask people in their lives for advice that love was very much we might ask our moms, we might ask our partners. The thing is they’re not on the same roller coaster that you are on. Most of them don’t understand what you’re trying to do and if they do give you advice, it’s loving meaningful advice, but it might not be the right advice for you and your business.

I had a client months ago whose husband kept telling her that she needs to keep the price of her membership site super low, so she was working herself into the ground every single month, putting out as amazing content for her people and as the library of content and grew and grew and grew, so should the price have gone up.

She said, no, I can’t put up the price. Like my husband says, I’m, I, I can’t do that. He says, I should keep the low.

He’s acting from his best. He’s got our best interests at heart and he genuinely believes that we compete on price and, but most of the time that’s not the case.

I’ve had people ask their peers for advice and their parents say, “hey, if you’re not making any money, you should, you should just shut down your business maybe you’re just no good at this.”

They’re just trying to protect you, but they’re not the people that you should handle that you’d be asking for tips. Develop a support network around you and ideally be in that network with people that have been through the stage of business already. So if you can be in a mastermind or group program or even just, you know, buddy up with people, if you know them very well and they’ve already passed on from that stage in business, then that’s the best thing you can do because highly likely they’ve already been through those challenges. They have worked through it, they can give you some tips on what they did to kind of come out the other side of one piece. And you feel like you’re actually truly supported and you’re getting some really, really good advice.

The third thing I think everyone should be doing, and it’s very tempting not to do in the beginning, is to set Boundaries and to actually enforce them.

So when we first started my business, we want to be everything to everyone. We want to be available to our clients 24/7, but over a period of time that is seriously going to hurt you because you will just not be able to keep up that amount of work to keep up that level of commitment to get back to people at the weekends on Christmas Day or whenever it is. So it’s time that you set some boundaries in your business and you actually went and enforce them. So if you’re saying, I’m looking at my business Monday to Friday only then don’t open emails at the weekend, plan some things in that take you away from that sort of environment where you attempt to do it and then enforcing.

If somebody does get in touch with you at the weekend, even if it’s through Facebook Messenger, reply to that message and say; 

Hey, thank you very much for getting in touch. I’m going to get back to you on Monday when I’m back at work.

So those boundaries are what’s going to keep you seriously sane and also it’s going to be a reminder to take some time off and spend it with the people that you love the most. Put your phone away, close the laptop and put it away. I am ridiculously bad at taking time off but there are certain boundaries that I had to put in place to just to protect my mind from going a bit crazy and take time off regularly to do what you want to do. This is super hard, particularly if you have other things that impact your schedule. So I’ve got the baby, when I’m not working, I’m entertaining the baby, so taking time off needs to be actually organized because otherwise, it’s not going to happen. So for me to have had 5 days away from home where I got to talk to people that do the same thing, I do have the same passions I have and to work on my business with 5 days. That was amazingly refreshing after 9 months of never having been alone at any time. So I am planning to make significantly more opportunities like that happened because it’s, it’s been a total game changer. We wouldn’t be sitting here today having this show if I hadn’t done that. And the last thing that can sometimes be a bit painful is to let go of any relationships that don’t serve you right now.  That could be personal relationships and that could be professional relationships. So sometimes we are still in a mastermind group and we’ve actually moved on from the stage of business that everyone else in that group and that group seems to be stuck in. Get yourself out of that environment because that’s not an encouraging environment, it’s actually going to keep you stuck in the same place.

So everyone that sells coaching or some sort of focuses on a specific group, so difficult when people that are just starting their business that are growing it or scaling it to six, seven figures and beyond. So if that program in helps you to get to your goal – to your first 5-figure month for example, and then you’ve had that five a month again and again and again, it’s time to move on. Then to find a new mentor to go with, just because that group doesn’t serve you anymore, the questions that are asked don’t serve you anymore, they, it’s just not going to help.

So it’s time to graduate from that environment and move on. But it’s not just your business relationships, it’s also your personal relationships. So, I have a dear friend who has been through some massive amount of change in the past couple years and she’s had some friends that went extremely funny on her. And they weren’t really supportive of her business and she was starting to have success and they were getting quite negative, saying that this isn’t going to last us a complete fluke. I’m basically hinting that she isn’t cut out to do this. I’m those other people that you kind of need to let go off in your life,  because they just massively draining your energy. And when somebody constantly deposits negativity on to you, it is super hard to show up positively for your clients, particularly when you have things like sales calls where you are making a relationship and a very, very short period of time.

And if you bring a lot of negative feelings onto the call, you can tell, you can tell them your voice, you can tell in your face and nobody wants to work with somebody that brings that negativity with them. So if that negativity’s coming from relationships, then you need to make some changes. If it’s just your other half, it’s going to be very difficult to just get rid of them and you might not want to do that. But then you might have to put boundaries in place to say, Hey, I understand that you don’t really like your job, but I find it very stressful when you come home every night and all you do is tell me how you hate your job, that starteing to impact me negatively. So, can we keep that to that 10 minutes? You tell me the three things that happen in your day and then we move on to talking about other things.

So if you can’t let go of the relationships, then you need to cut down your exposure to that kind of negativity. So those were my five key things that helped me from going completely crazy over the past two years that I’ve been running this business and I’m super excited to dive deeper into this topic over the next few weeks. So we’re going to bring up things like Desperation, and why it can actually kill your business before you’ve even properly started. And know that many of you that starting out with your business, when you have your sales calls, you have to, you know, you have to make the sale. And that often leads to some bad decisions. So I want to talk a little bit more about that in one of the next couple of episodes.

Imposter Syndrome is super, super, super common. I know a lot of you. I’m struggling with that.

So I want to talk a little about bit about how it affects your business and what you can actually do to tackle it. As far as I’ve seen, it never kind of goes away. There’s always that niggly voice that comes along and be like, Hey, who are you to be doing this? Who are you to be talking to people today, you know?

That’s really, really, really tricky. And then also what changes do you have to make in your mindset to actually go from being a solopreneur that makes a decent living to having an actual profitable business? Because after, after we’ve paid our bills and we’ve paid our taxes, until you’ve hit the six-figure business, you not actually making a decent profit. So that’s kind of why everyone is always talking about having a six-figure business. It’s because it actually means that you pay yourself a decent salary and you have profit left in the business, so that’s an important stage to get to, but you have to change quite a few things, and kind of changed your attitude towards things and that can be hard work.

So I’m really excited to be talking about that.

That’s it from me today for our first ever episode. Like I said, next week we’ve got Corinne coming on and we’re going to be talking about imposter syndrome. I’m really excited to hear more about that and ask us some questions and if you want to keep up with the kind of backstory and anything that we’re prepping then, I’d love for you to pop over to Instagram – you can follow me over there at Jessica Dornieden and then you get all the scoop of everything that’s going on and you get a bit of the mum life as well. I try and make it the funny side if the mum life rather than that very exhausting one. I would love to see you over there, connect with you. Say Hi to each other in the group. And if you are seeing this on the blog on Youtube, the group is called Crush it with Confidence and the episode just always going to come up first in the group and then I’ll see you all next week.

Bye

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