I am leaving social media (and a lot of other “useful apps”) behind in 2024 and today I want to give you a little bit of behind the scenes insights into my life and how I’m trying to balance being an online business owner and wanting to spend less time online.

When and how I noticed something was wrong

I have always been a pretty fun and easy-going person, but over the last few years something has drastically changed in my life and I’m no longer that person.

It seems I’m now permanently stressed, slightly on the edge and always annoyed at being asked about ANYTHING.

I’m in front of my laptop from 6.30am until 10pm most days. Yet my tracked work time never adds up to more than about 5 hours a day…

A few weeks ago my partner entered the living room and asked me a random question and I could feel just how annoyed I am now at any kind of interruption. Any questions feels like just another demand to add to the list.

Where was all of this anger coming from?

I coincidentally got my screentime report a few minutes later.

And suddenly I realised what the source might be.

What the screentime report was telling me

The warning signs on the screentime report were quite obvious. My main issue personally wasn’t so much social media in itself (although I did still spend more time scrolling shit than I would honestly want to) – my issue were actually notifications from direct messages.

I have mentioned this in past videos, but the community here in Albania is incredibly transient and everyone inevitably at some point leaves. So I now have friends spread out all over the world, and they all want to keep in touch (or so they say).

And so they message on WhatsApp, send memes on IG and TikTok and generate an average of between 300 and 400 notifications A DAY to my phone.

I wasn’t spending too much time on my phone per se on a daily basis, but I was picking it up hundreds of times per day to read messages on WhatsApp, Slack, IG, TikTok and Messenger.

On average every 7-8 minutes if you spread it across the waking hours.

This is insanity, and it’s no wonder that I am effectively going crazy – or I was anyways.

How I made a change for the better

There was a book I had heard about before called “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport, and I decided that this may be a good starting point for making a change.

I picked up the book and read through what needed doing and after each section I took action. I will aim to write a full book summary at some point, but I’m not yet done implementing all of the pieces from it.

But here are the steps I took:

1. I listed out all of the tools, systems, platforms etc. that I’m using, all the apps I have installed, basically my entire digital footprint.

2. I marked the list according to whether I would entirely stop using an app/platform, whether I would be using it but with rules in place or whether this isn’t one that needs attention for me. This basically means writing up my philoshopy around technology use.

3. Then I took action and started deleting stuff off of my phone and also installing Newsfeed blockers in my browser.

The exact things I personally needed to address

Each person is different and each and every single one of us has a different issue with devices, technology or social media, so the strategies that I implemented may not be what you need or what works for you so I recommend reading the book so you can work through this yourself.

Start phone ‘Office Hours’ for my friends

For me personally I needed to address WhatsApp with top priority (we do not use text messaging in Europe, cause WA is free and network independent, so this is our text message equivalent).

85% of the time that I picked up my phone WhatsApp was the app I opened.

I made a list of the friends that message me and decided who I wanted to stay in touch with. Then I needed to find a way to be able to be social with them by actually speaking. And I needed to make sure this is happening at a time of day where I’m not going to be doing anything else.

So I made a change to my daily routine and I implemented Office Hours for my friends. Every day at 5pm they can just call me on the phone. No need to preschedule anything.

And during this time I schedule 2 activites in my day that I don’t do enough of in the grand scheme of things.
1. Cleaning and laundry
2. Self-care.

So when 5pm hits I either do a physical self-care activity or I clean the house, hang and fold laundry etc. and if one of my friends phones then I’m able to talk to them AND still carry on with my activity, and if they don’t then my house is still clean, or my hair still had a hair mask on.

Results so far: No more messages from people. Only one friend actually bothered to call on the phone so far. I don’t think this is good or bad. I am actually interested to see who is invested enough to stay in touch and who isn’t.

Cut down my perceived circle

As humans we aren’t meant to keep in touch with (or even know about) hundreds of other people. I don’t think our brain can handle it. Instead of worrying about my own life and getting stuff done I watch other people live theirs.

I learn about offers I don’t care about, I hear about problems I don’t have space for, and I waste one hour a day watching memes.

So I uninstalled all social media and entertainment apps from my phone.

Bye Facebook.

Bye Facebook Messenger.

Bye TikTok.

Bye Instagram.

Bye YouTube.

Literally the only apps now on my phone are useful. Like checking the weather, Tripadvisor for trips, Google Maps, my banking app etc.

I did leave my browser on my phone, but I don’t struggle with reading news etc. for hours, so you personally may need to remove it.

Result: I now use my phone on average 16-21 minutes a day (depends on whether I’m meeting up with people in person and have to coordinate stuff or not).

Multitasking (aka giving myself a dopamine hit while working)

There are tasks that are just no fun. And I would often use a Podcast or YouTube in the background while doing those tasks, like boring admin stuff.

However I didn’t realise just how much this distracts me from doing the task and how often I hear something interesting, then realise I wasn’t listening then switch tabs to go back to hear what the person said and then to forget what admin task I was even doing.

The only thing I am now allowed to listen to in the background is the radio, stuff that doesn’t really interest me basically.

Results so far: My tracked worktime went up to 7-8 hours per day and I’m done with client work every single day by 11.30am.

Develop High-Quality Leisure

It turns out that when you’re in front of the computer pseudo-working until 10pm every day, you don’t have any time for hobbies.

So when you are bored what do you do?

Oh yeah, you grab your phone and scroll.

So one of the things Cal mentioned in the book was that you need new high-quality leisure activities to replace the phone.

And I didn’t have any hobbies. I haven’t had any hobbies as a matter of fact since I started working online and running my own business.

Now I wonder why I was so stressed out and grumpy all the time…

So, I headed out to the kancelari (that’s Albanian for stationery shop) and I bought a sketchbook and a couple of pencils and I grabbed a copy of “You can draw in 30 days”. I’ll share my results of that in a separate post.

I also grabbed whatever paperback books I could get my hands on (English books arent exactly widely spread in Albania), so I would always have something I could pick up and read in case of boredom

Over the last 4 weeks a lot has changed for me, it’s more quiet, I don’t worry aymore about going out without my phone. And when I’m out with people there is nothing for me to do, but to be present.

What’s next for me?

This for me was merely a starting point and I’m still nowhere near where I want to be when it comes to life in general.

There are still quite a few things missing for me:

1. Solitude (more on that separately)

2. Actually following through with my timeblock every day

3. Doing things especially when the motivation has worn off

4. Saying No.

5. Physical Activity has completely left my life again after I was going to the gym 5 times a week for months.